Not that I liked being fat, but I didn't want to do anything about it. I liked eating, and I hated working out. But to be honest, I also hate being out of shape. We are really warped in what we tell ourselves. Well, the last few years, it has really started to bother me more and more. And now that I have a beautiful little girl that I want to be around to watch have little one's of her own, I have much more motivation. I have tried dieting a few times. In fact, Glenn and I joined weight watchers twice in the first 5 years we were married. Each time we lost around 30 pounds, but quickly stopped following program and really didn't want to keep doing it. We joined 24 hour fitness, but didn't put the energy into it that it really required. So really, I just really didn't care if I lost weight or not. This time, I think I am ready. Here is a photo of what I looked like on my Honeymoon. I am fat, but I really would love to be this size again!
I had a doctor's visit earlier this month, and I did my blood work. My A1C came back at a 9. A non-diabetic is under 5, and a controlled diabetic is under 7. I found out a few years ago that I was diabetic, and a few times I have worked at controlling it, but now I really wanted to control it. This, along with the feelings I have had the last several months about everything are really making me want to do something. My doctor talked to me about joining Weight Watchers and/or Meta-fast. I knew that Glenn had issues with things like Meta-fast, but I was feeling helpless, and like I wanted someone to tell me what exactly I need to eat instead of leaving all the choices up to me. I know, I thought I was ready, but I still didn't' want to take the accountability. But really, what I proposed to Glenn was that we try Meta-fast for a few months, then after the initial weight loss change over to Weight Watchers. I just wanted a quick start where I could feel better, and then take the time to learn how to eat right. After Glenn researching and talking to his Doctor, she told him no, it was not enough calories and she did not want him to do it. So, I said lets do Weight Watchers. Today is the Day I start. What I do know about myself is that doing the online version is not going to work for me. I need the meetings. I need to feel accountable to someone, and weighing in each week helps me feel that. I need to be inspired by others successes, and hear that I am not alone. I need to do the full program, and not "pretend" again that I can do it on my own. So joining Weight Watchers and attending the meetings is my start. It is my start to losing weight, getting more energy and taking control of my life. Emma and Glenn are worth me taking better care of myself, and darn it, so am I. So now, I am a member of Weight Watchers starting a journey of years to be a better me.
So, here is my starting photo. I want to mark my progress and see me get smaller. I want to throw away (or donate) all my fat clothes and never have to buy another larger size. It is time to become obsessed with my food and my life!
|Me in March ~ I think I was larger a couple of years ago, but not much. Maybe 10 pounds heavier.|